DOUBLE LIVES

im like leading double lives,
updating my other blog and here also.
if you want my other blog, do ask me for the link!

and and, cause there like memories here too,
im still in the midst of considering whether to close it down


2 more days,
and siying disappears for 2 weeks! :D
take it as a short hiatus

i will be back before you know it!

RUN.

sometimes i wish i have someone
to sing this to me! :D

run baby run
don't ever look back
they'll tear us apart
if you give them the chance
don't sell your heart
don't say we're not meant to be

run baby run
forever will be you and me
check yes juliet
I'll be waiting
wishing, wanting
yours for the taking
just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye

INSIDE YOUR HEAVEN

when we touch,
when we love
the stars line up
the wrong becomes undone

naturally, my soul surrenders
the sun and the moonlight
all my dreams are in your eyes

and I wanna be inside your heaven
take me to the place you cry from
when a storm blows your way
I wanna be the earth that holds you
every bit of air your breathin in
a soothin wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

when minutes turn to days and years
if mountains fall, I'll still be here
holding you until the day I die
I wanna be inside your heaven
take me to the place you cry from
when a storm blows your way

SOMEWHERE

Somewhere Between All Our Laughs (from the very first day),
Long Talks (at everywhere plus supper),
Stupid Little Fights (over nothing much)
And All Our (Lame) Jokes,
I Fell In Love

approximately 13 more days
and counting

WOULD YOU SAY,

comparisions are pointless and endless
one should not look to comparing unless
its to compare past and present
learn from mistakes, reflect and move on
comparisions are only useful in constructing someone
anything else, is pointless
and make everything cease to have meaning.

'she looks at the list he made, the list of how he fell in love with her
clutching it in her hand she realises for sure,
how things will never be the same again'

AS LONG AS

a pop song having an old-age concept
the concept of second chances

Dont care
what is written in your history
As long as youre here with me
I dont care who you are
Where youre from
What you did
As long as you love me

THATS JUST IT.

life, in so many instances
has no second chances
people appearing in your life,
causing you to change directions,
make decisions resulting in you
never able to be the same again

then those people walk out,
leaving behind everything they once built
they once tried to built

you may ask why i am writing all these
i realised, if not a little too late,
the toughest thing in life is not to ask for a second shot
at something, a second chance in doing something right
from anyone else for that matter

but finding the reason to give yourself a second chance
finding the reason to believe you will do it right this time
especially when you are in a position where doing it right
is so uncertain, not something whereby you put in hard work,
you can expect things will work out somehow.
i cannot find this reason


will i then now, deny myself of this second chance?

its sad, that its me i cant cross


If I got down on my knees and told you
I was yours forever
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand?
Would we get that old time feelin', would we laugh and talk for hours
The way we did when our love first began?

HEATED

i just finished a heated debate with janice
about morals and perceptions
my brain cells are finished

no more intellectual questions today please

lets do emotional now
i know that there are so many people in my life in ngee ann
who came in and out of my life but left such deep impressions
that i will not forget for the rest of my life
words are only words, but words are all i have
i cannot begin to express how much i cherish each and every one of you
who crossed my path

shirley,weekok,rodney,shuxian
the days of doing rubbish projects at canteen one is over
in fact, canteen one days are over
wherever, however we moved on in life,
i pray that we will always stay in touch
thank you, for giving me an opportunity to care for you
each and every one of you

i appreciate all your uniqueness and talents
i appreciate all your friendship and time
words cannot begin to describe
this ending of a phase but the exciting beginning of all our lives
my friends from ngee ann,
our lives, have just begun!

WHOLE AGAIN

Looking back on when we first met
I cannot escape and I cannot forget
Baby you're the one, you still turn me on
You can make me whole again

Time is laying heavy on my heart
Seems I've got too much of it
Since we've been apart
My friends make me smile, if only for a while
You can make me whole again



its graduation today!
awesome.
and i right now am more concerned with a growing
pimple under my eyelid
it says online that its caused by poor nutrition and stress
or dirty things that touch the eyes

and i already think i knew what
please just dont swell and burst pimple!
i hope it goes away like with at least 20 hours of slp
i shall hibernate

even though im not sure whether i can sleep that long

CAN IT?

will things be simpler?

will i not struggle?

it seems like the right thing to do

tell me its wrong

STOP CRYING YOUR HEART OUT

Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared,
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile,
Shine on,
Don't be scared,
Your destiny may keep you warm,
'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday,
Take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

WORTH

ever wonder how people just can make you feel worthless sometimes?
they know what to say and which area to hit just right to make you cringe
bending over in pain looking for a place to hide

i do, and we all do.

today however i give thanks to a person who gave me an injection
of encouragement right when i needed the most
it hasnt been the best week and there has been so much doubts
in my head, cast by people of the past or present

on a side note, caught star trek today with my family
it was pretty awesome
i however am lost when it comes to physics
such as alternate realities, time and space travel theories
my gosh, i just take things that happened as the way they happened

monday has already come,
and this is the start of a great great week
by faith

FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS

congrats sheng ming for getting into NRA!
&happy birthday dad!
happy mothers day mum!
let there be a stream of good news tomorrow!

the more i learn the more i love
the more my heart cant get enough
thats when i love you,
no matter what.

THOSE DAYS, WEAK

its one of those days that i have so much bad things on my mind
that i become numb to feeling upset about the bad things
like how i reviewed the past few days and feel that
i have so many areas to work on, so much support i perhaps may need
im not sure if there is any good news this week in store for me

usually when im upset i will go eat something good
i dont feel like doing that now, in fact i no longer really want to eat anything
i can just sit here the whole day staring at the window
my mind just a blank, thinking of nothing and remember nothing in particular

its one of those days where im not sure how long it will last
where im not sure even whether i want it to last
some people are willing to let themselves mop like this forever
sink into this pit that they themselves not want to get out from
i for one, am not sure where the line lies now

"'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel"

EMOTIONAL

im sick, i should be sleeping
and i wonder why i had to pick such nights to stay awake
i opened the door and stood at the corridor outside

i like the view from my house, not too high to see nothing
and not too low to be unable to make out details

the air was cold, i looked up at the skies
then my vision blurred
i knew it
i was trying to ignore that
constant tagging at my heart for so long
i miss you, perhaps more than i thought

JACK OF ALL TRADES

i feel that im a jack of most trades
and a master of none
im not sure if i am happy being this way
that remains to be seen

my sentiments today include how much of a lousy week this is
and how my shoulders ache from carrying the accessories around
how the most little things in life can really ruin a day
transport, weather etc.

and i also believe that similarly there are so many little things
in life that makes a great difference in my day
getting to really rely on God in many aspects
where we cant fill up, He always does
and a short phone call from France

today i wondered if forgetting the past allows me
to move forward better,
past failures and hurts
today i wondered how to truly help people
leaving in them something that they can rely on for a lifetime
i guess, i can only do so much

this life has been faith building, i experienced loss, pain, separation
i also experienced new life, second chances, love
i cannot help and look back at the choices i made that carried me thus far
the wrong ones that seems etched into my mind
and the right ones that never fails to make me smile

today is just reminiscence.

And if tomorrow brings a lonely day
Here and now i know I haven't lived in vain
I'll cry my tears in the rain and if love never comes again
I can always say
I've been to paradise skies in your eyes

BORED TO TEARS.

i am bored to tears.
within this period of time not knowing whether im being accepted for the
teaching position and hence not able to know my commitment
also means i dont know what kind of job to look for

which means these agonising 15 days wait is sad
at least i can be going around looking for a job or something
but now im just bumped at home

one possible good thing is that im able to show my support
at all of wan ting's matches, with another one tomorrow
other things im busy with includes sorting out the accessories
that my cousin wants to sell, helping her start an online children accessories shop
and should any one of you like the accessories
custom-made is also available.

other good things could include trying to beat my personal high score on scramble and Hell's Kitchen. not that healthy if you ask me

couple of birthdays coming up, louis and shengming
not too sure what to get either of them
any suggestions do tag my tagboard! :D

TIME

everyone has an irresistible desire, to be irresistibly desired.

ALONE.

i finally am burdened by being different
there is within me a desire to no longer be who i am
i tried, i really did

but then again does it matter?
no one will take pity on this heart
scarred and wounded

and thats the way the world works
its this point, the make or break point
where your values are being requestioned
where your love undermined


giving up or giving in?
then again does it matter?
what i live with or for?

i dont want to care
no more
i want to love people like they deserved to be loved
beats the superficial and temporary


and i will be happy
with or without

so much for through thick and thin
for better or worse

my interview was ok!
cause it was a chinese teacher position
so they interviewed me in chinese mostly
so rusty at my chinese already!
oh but wells,
i didnt do that awesome till i was amazed at myself
i didnt do that badly till i entirely have no chance
so its up to God now and we will see how things go.

sometimes i sit here and wonder
what is this ability we have inside of us
to conjure up things to hurt those closest to us
the words we say, the things we did or did not do
its as if we are fine just stabbing each other with words

what one say may not be interpreted as the exact same meaning it was intended
sometimes it becomes a fact that we hurt who we care for and about
no matter how carefully we phrased our sentences and choose our words
sometimes when we regret its too late
sometimes apologies dont work wonders


perhaps to you i am such a girl
and you wondered where all the good parts went
when we rely on the same drug that harms us to give us comfort instead
think what you want
say what you wish
the accusations that stand against me i will not fight back
what do i fight back with? i wonder
will you then care for my well-being or be moved by my pathetic-ness?

we all know the answer well
if i turned around and you did too,
will we keep walking till our lives never intersect
ever again?