HOLIDAYS ENDING.

what is this,
i dont even remember the holiday starting and
i am already counting down to the new year
that is good and bad in alot of ways
good because time is flying even though
france is a million miles away
bad because next year is so uncertain!

my projects and resume,
i cannot understand my low level of productivity
and ive been at home everyday!
its already starting to make me sick
i cant believe i am saying this
but i think not getting out more is why the dodo bird died of a natural death
no one really remembers that advert
oh moving on!

i have to start doing work
work = projects and resume
still have to dig for my certs to self promote myself
what am i going to say?
team player? confident?
but i am not supposed to lie!

i will really kill myself if i dont get down to doing work soon
oh funny i had the thought of killing myself if i dont do work
but not just doing work like right now

my procrastinating skills has hit a whole new level
i can just tell from the way i am putting things off
and i cant have a new year resolution not to procrastinate
cause i will just procrastinate to fulfill that resolution

funny how that all sounds contradicting but make some sense at some point of time?
i have only been out twice this week!
-pats self on the back
im already going crazy.

LUCKY.

Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

-Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat

is there really such thing as luck?

its funny how people are so near sometimes, and yet so far away.

EMOTIONAL. AND YOU DONT KNOW.

i breathed in the smoky air.
and blew it out, all that cigarette taste in my mouth

oh how long have we fought, how many times
to just
believe, like it wont fail you
trust, like it wont betray you
love, like it wont leave you

because oh no they wont understand,
so why let them see you
the fear that rushes through veins
what do they know

how much you tried to hold on when someone else is letting go
i only want to sleep so much, sleeping too long would only mean
being too far from reality, and that gives too much hope

when you fight those voices in your head
do the people around you add to them? or fight them instead?
reassuring words you wont find repeating
cause its tiring to say

give yourself a pat on the back
and tell yourself everything's ok

everything's ok when life takes its toll
when everything seems pitch black
when you cant find the end of that rainbow

everything's ok when the person you love hurts you so


dear god, are you there tonight?
cause i really need you to hold me tight.










emotions mashed with writing
raw blogging
i think its not a bad prose. (:
i am starting to know how to express how i feel with my limited vocab.

BANGS

so im going for a new look
i think thats what your monthly period does to you
i am going to cut bangs!
i have lost too much blood to hesitate to change my look!
and i have not much idea what exactly i am blogging about
there is not much coherence.

i can just cut it, and if it does makes me look scary,
i will just leave it long again
awesome.

wan ting is my sole influence,
we will pop over by the salon together!
and hopefully its not too bad looking.
perhaps, at the rate of my blood loss
and the cramps, i will not end up at the salon anyway

i see BB assignment, Advertising and so much more
makes me wonder how little time i will be left with to pack my table

rowing is tomorrow morning
so i got to be up by 6
i cross my fingers and toes i wont capsize tomorrow
rowing is alot about confidence i feel
that if you row with confidence, its not that easy to topple over
trust your stroke, move with the water.

and and, i got pretty flowers (:
they are awesome too. all pretty colours.
truly made my day, i was all moody and cramp-ish
till the flowers came along.

tried some super sweet xiao long bao at din tai fung yesterday
i never really liked xiao long bao,
but the ones i ate was super sweet.
i am all craving for it now.


ever wondered whether its time to talk to your father properly
like, to stop being so serious, so formal
hes dad after all, i guess in Asian cultures there are no outward
showing of love, care and affection.

i firmly feel that it is up to the next generation to change it
so i shall 'yoyo' my dad the next time i see him
time to sizzle up the relationship! (:


and and, can france just swap places with malaysia.

LIPS OF AN ANGEL.

i am not too sure how to have time for people who dont have time for me
because even if you leave this big blank of time in your life
it doesnt mean that they will happily come along to fill it up
which ties me faintly to the word sincerity
or insincerity rather.

another sleepless night,
i shall exhaust all possibilities before turning to steroids.
i do have them still, in my cupboard looking back at me
i have to snap out of the mindset that only steroids can help
and i have to start helping myself

i did not attend the BA com meeting today! ):
im blaming it so on this disease.

grandma's birthday was yesterday
suggested playing majong with her to keep her company
so she doesnt feel lonely
awesome time cause she was winning us all the way
and giving us a lecture on how to play
we were like having a live discussion about majong.
awesome.

i will have to go and pass louis the majong tiles i borrowed later though
as much as i dont want to go out with all the patches on my skin,
there is no food at home anyway!
and randomly, the five wounds on my arm looks like the 5circles in majong!
awesome.
alrights, i will stop finding such linkless similarities.

so i shall go out and hunt for my dinner at ang mo kio hub
lugging heavy weights in the shape of small rectangular majong tiles
i want to sleep tonight.

DEAR GOD,

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through

- Avenged Sevenfold.




worthy song to listen to.

LOVE SONGS

i find myself remembering love songs in the morning.
its just wonderful how people can put words together
and make something so simple as a melody become so meaningful

i thought of songs like
at the beginning
truly,madly,deeply
i knew i loved you before i met you
thats when i love you

the common denominator of all love songs is that love is never about one person
there is always a 'we' or people sing about the person they love
sneak preview of thats when i love you lyrics! brackets of my own comments. x)

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you
Just that way (loving that person the way he is, not the way we want him to be)

To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you endlessly

And when you're mad cause you lost a game
Forget im waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind (when people change, people give up, is there a need to give up? that when he becomes the worst person ever, will we still love? i wonder.)
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie, it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time

And when you can't quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes (i laugh at my own jokes too)
That's when I love you
I love you more than you know

And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby I love you
I love you anyway

awesome song to think of in the morning, its to shower then church!
i hear the toilet beckoning me.

randomly, i watched alien vs predator yesterday and it was so gross
why cant the other channels have something to watch,
then i dont have to be left with the odd long tail creatures chewing on humans
oh yes, its that gross!

HOWS THAT

i deleted my old blog by accident.
a new blog has to mean a new beginning
since that blog was already 4 years old.

grateful for everyone. thank you.
you all made my day. and perhaps my night. (: