so much for through thick and thin
for better or worse

my interview was ok!
cause it was a chinese teacher position
so they interviewed me in chinese mostly
so rusty at my chinese already!
oh but wells,
i didnt do that awesome till i was amazed at myself
i didnt do that badly till i entirely have no chance
so its up to God now and we will see how things go.

sometimes i sit here and wonder
what is this ability we have inside of us
to conjure up things to hurt those closest to us
the words we say, the things we did or did not do
its as if we are fine just stabbing each other with words

what one say may not be interpreted as the exact same meaning it was intended
sometimes it becomes a fact that we hurt who we care for and about
no matter how carefully we phrased our sentences and choose our words
sometimes when we regret its too late
sometimes apologies dont work wonders


perhaps to you i am such a girl
and you wondered where all the good parts went
when we rely on the same drug that harms us to give us comfort instead
think what you want
say what you wish
the accusations that stand against me i will not fight back
what do i fight back with? i wonder
will you then care for my well-being or be moved by my pathetic-ness?

we all know the answer well
if i turned around and you did too,
will we keep walking till our lives never intersect
ever again?