ever had a train of thoughts in your head
that you never seem to get rid off?
despite attempts to ask the voice to shut up about yourself
deep down at the end you possibly already
given into the thoughts in the first place
these thoughts are usually negative and after
several times of that voice telling you that it is
the voice just gets louder and louder
till it overwhelms your entire soul
i just heard a bang outside and windows shattering
i ran out to see a car yet again knocked into the side of the road
isnt the first accident i have seen
it crashed outside the primary school next to my house
i heard a scream before that
the unpredictability of life
ever wondered how many people will be at your funeral?
i did, just as births and deaths have an effect to make people gather
i wondered if my death would bring more than just tears,
but reconciliation and love
perfect love casts out all fears, so the bible said
i never understood it till last night
fear of abandonment
fear of failure
fear of losing someone
fear of losing pretty much anything at all
fear that you dont match up
fear that you are not worth it
fear that you are more problem causing than solution giving
and these are only the beginning of fears
fears, like darkness
slowly engulfs you
refusing to give you entirely no hope at one shot
with time, it swallows you up and eats you whole
in the end, you lose yourself
never to be found again
am i worth it?
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